Toxic Masculinity:What is it and how is it dangerous to men?

Before we begin, and you start writing long hate paragraphs in my comment box, Let me make it very clear that...

By toxic masculinity, I don't mean that masculinity in itself is toxic. Being masculine isn't toxic!

So what exactly is Toxic Masculinity?

By Toxic Masculinity,

I'm referring to those particular traits of 'traditional masculinity' that we think make us a 'real man' but are rather harmful to us. For example; Encouraging Violence among men, burying your emotions, Promoting Rape culture, etc.

And calling out the fact that those men who don't conform to these so called gender norms aren't even seen as real men, by both society and other men.

Avoiding showing any emotions and considering being emotional as weak and unmanly.

Yes, We all post "Men can cry". "Men can be emotional". Every time a campaign about men's mental health runs on social media. But how do we react to men crying in real life? How do we think about men being emotional? Instead of offering support and help to our bros, we tell them to "Man up". Bury their emotions through either sex or drinking.

According to the health ministry of India on National Suicide Prevention report, the Gender-based suicide ratio was around 71% male and 29% female in the year 2020.

Because Men tend to bury their emotions from an early age and they're told that "Crying is and "Boys are supposed to be tough." And This bullshit just passes through the generations, and forces men to suffer in silence.

Encouraging men to be violent and calling it 'Mardangi'.

The only way men know how to showcase their masculinity and strength is, by being violent and aggressive. If you had an argument with someone and you just walked away without breaking their scull, there's something wrong with your manhood. I know I make it sound so exaggerated but, don't we all see, men and boys always hyping up each other to fight? Committing murders even.

As per the Gender-based Prison Statics report 2021 by NCRB, the ratio of people imprisoned for violent crimes was around 95% male and 5% female. How manly is that?

No shame in standing up for ourselves, but to what extent?

Normalizing and promoting rape culture.

We live in a society where you'll find it completely normal to see men sexualizing women, talking about their boobs or butt, using words like 'Maal' to refer to them, or describing what they would want to do to them. However, We find it odd when a guy advocates for feminism and women's rights.

According to NCRB 2021 annual report, an average of 86 rape cases were registered daily, and the reality is far more dangerous as a large number of cases go unreported.

We see news of a 10-year-old boy raping a little girl. We see a 16-year-old boy raping a 9-year-old boy. Fathers raping their own daughters. Where's this sexual rage coming from?

It's all due to the normalization of rape culture in India.

Humiliating other men for not conforming to toxic ideas of masculinity.

Rule no. 1 of being a toxic man; "If a man does anything that doesn't meet your idea of manliness and triggers your toxic masculinity, start humiliating and bullying that man, to appear as an 'alpha man'".

I'm not talking about how men judge other men for wearing makeup or wearing dresses. I'm talking about how men judge other men for the simplest things, such as:

Sitting with their legs crisscrossed, Using a face wash, Being polite to people, Cooking or doing the dishes, Or Being sensitive.

Why are men shamed for practicing basic survival skills like cooking or cleaning? Why is it not okay for men to be sensitive? Why are behaviors even gendered? Who made these pathetic rules? And Why do men just follow them blindly?

Promoting misogynistic behaviors and hate against women.

From an early age, men are told that they're above women. They're smarter, stronger, funnier, and more capable. Men are supposed to be the breadwinner of the family meanwhile a woman's place is to serve him and bear his kids. This gender-based chauvinism makes men despise women. Especially the ones who do not 'obey' these gender roles and demand their rights.

India ranks 148 out of 170 countries according to the 'Women, Peace, And Security Index 2021'. 1 out of 3 women is a victim of domestic abuse.

How do we swear to 'protect' our women by being the man in the house when only we're the predators? What masculinity are we cheering for?

Being homophobic.

Like I said before, Every time these toxic men see someone advocating for feminism, they stand up for male rights and meninism. But where does their meninism go when they harass and bully gay men? What happens to men's mental health when they use words like Meetha, Chakka, Etc to shame us?

These toxic men hate femininity so much that whenever a man does something 'feminine' he automatically becomes less of a man. And what can be more feminine for them, than seeing a man dating another man?

They hate gay men and justify it by saying that we don't live up to their cultural values or religious beliefs. But the truth is, they're scared that if we start cherishing our femininity, start demanding our rights to live the way we want, and withdraw these toxic traits of masculinity, their toxicity won't have a place in society, and they won't have anyone to assert their dominance upon.

It's a male-dominated world, and we're a threat to them and their toxicity.

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With all being said, I'm just gonna sum it up by saying, it's 2024 for god's sake. Please get out of your prehistoric alpha male era and be a little open-minded.

Even if you don't agree to all of this, at least let other men be free of this toxicity and end the shame.

Be a man, don't be a toxic one.