I’m Sunni and My Boyfriend Is Shia, How We Built a Life Together as a Gay Couple in India

This love story began with a flashmob…

It was 2021. We were planning our second queer flashmob in Lucknow, bright, bold, and full of rebellion. That’s when I reached out to Zulfi, asking, “Would you join us?” He said no. Then no again. And then, finally, yes.

And from that yes, everything changed.

In the beginning, it was just regular pick-ups and drop-offs for rehearsals. I’d wait, he’d hop on, and we’d drive off into our little bubble. Slowly, those rides turned into rituals. Laughs, glances, silences, playlists. Love doesn’t always knock; sometimes, it just quietly slides into the passenger seat.

Every rehearsal became less about the choreography and more about syncing hearts. We started meeting beyond practice and somehow, between the flashmob and flashes of unspoken feelings, we found a rhythm of our own.

Then came Delhi. I moved first. And just 15 days later, he followed. No grand declarations. Just quiet courage. We built a home together, our safe space, with chai mugs, fairy lights, and the kind of love that holds you, even on the hardest days.

I’ll never forget that evening at Ikafe, he looked at me, held my hand, and said, “Everything’s going to be okay.” And in that moment, I believed it. I still do.

Three years. 1,095 days. Fights, make-ups, 2 a.m. “let’s talk” moments, silent treatments, spontaneous hugs in Lucknow lanes, and yes, those early days of pick and drop, where love first took the wheel.

Love isn’t about perfection. It’s about choosing each other, over and over again. And us? We’re still choosing.

It started with enjoying each other’s company, just genuinely, effortlessly. From sharing rides to flashmob practice, to knowing exactly when the other needed silence instead of words… everything flowed so naturally that we never had to pause and define it.

When I moved to Delhi, I thought I’d miss that rhythm. But just 15 days later, Zulfi moved too. No big promises. No pressure. Just presence. That’s when I realized, love doesn’t always arrive with grand gestures. Sometimes it shows up quietly, like someone choosing to build a home with you, one day at a time.

We never needed a turning point. Because from the very beginning, we were already on the same path.

Zulfi has a heart that's far too kind for this world. No matter how tired he is, whether he's just come home from a long office shift or a draining night shift, if someone needs help, he will show up. It's this quiet compassion that makes him feel like home, not just to me, but to everyone around him.

And me? I (Tanzeel) am the loud one, the upfront, no-nonsense, brutally honest one. I say what I feel, even if it's uncomfortable. I don't sugarcoat. And sometimes, that honesty cuts deeper than intended. But that's where Zulfi steps in, not to silence me, but to soften the blow. He balances my sharp edges with his gentle warmth. And somehow, that blend actually works.

We're not perfect. But we always try to communicate, even if there's distance, even if time stretches between conversations. We find our way back. Because for us, it's never about being the same, it's about being there.

What we love most about each other is how we never stop trying. Even on the messy days. It's how we balance, how we show up, and how we keep choosing us, again and again.

In a world that often tells us we shouldn't exist because of our faith, our queerness, or our love, we choose to exist louder, softer, stronger. Together.

We come from different sects, different backgrounds. And yes, that means we carry generations of history, grief, and inherited expectations. But what we've built isn't based on what divides us, it's built on what connects us: empathy, understanding, and deep respect.

There are moments when it gets hard, when community whispers get louder... We talk. We hold space. We remember that our relationship isn't a rebellion, it's a reflection of what love can look like when it's free from fear.

We don't claim to have all the answers. But every day, we choose dialogue over staying quiet, care over conflict. And we believe that's faith too, in each other, in compassion, in love that dares to cross every line drawn to keep us apart.

~ Tanzeel & Zulfi.